Bring the child's own words and practical observations: what preceded difficulty, what helped and what made it worse. Ask the school to turn these into a shared plan with names, actions, alternatives and a review date. Ask for its observations and actions in return; the record should not be homework assigned only to the family.
Check with the child whether the agreed support happened and how it felt. You do not have to resolve every professional disagreement alone. Ask for the responsible school or service lead when an agreed response is repeatedly ignored. Use preparing a shared account and sharing information purposefully.
For bullying or exclusion, use the instructions for this role.